The Dip
"What is it? You don't want to know. But you need it."
$16.99
Our lawyers have reviewed the formula and confirm: The Dip is guaranteed to be non-sentient this time. Enjoy the flavor without the previous incidents. Previous incidents are sealed. If The Dip begins speaking to you, please contact your regional coordinator.
Reality Layer
A real condiment. It goes on things and improves those things. What things specifically is a matter of personal discovery. We recommend starting with chips and escalating from there with appropriate caution.
This product exists. Procurement from your timeline is not currently supported.
SKU: DIP-001
- Classification
- Condiment / Dip / Lifestyle Accelerant
- Sentience Status
- Non-sentient (current batch, confirmed)
- Consistency
- Indeterminate. Changes with prolonged observation.
- Heat Level
- Non-zero. Exact value disputed between departments.
- Ingredients
- Listed on label. Label is accurate in this timeline.
- Serving Size
- More than you think. Less than you need.
- Shelf Life
- The jar does not expire. We find this notable.
- Sponsor
- Sauce Compliance Bureau — MEGA MEAL Corp
- Regulatory Status
- Under review in most timelines. Approved in several.
What does The Dip taste like?
You will know when you try it. Words have not been adequate so far. Multiple food critics have attempted descriptions. None of the descriptions agree. All of the critics came back for more.
What is it made of?
We have prepared a full ingredient disclosure. It is available upon request, in a sealed envelope, after you have already purchased the product.
Is it actually non-sentient now?
Yes. The current batch has been reviewed and confirmed. We learned from the previous batch. Significant lessons were learned. The review board no longer exists but the lessons remain.
Why isn't it available in my timeline?
The regulatory status of The Dip varies significantly by timeline. Yours is still under review. We believe the outcome will be favorable. We have believed this about several timelines that did not end favorably.
What were 'the previous incidents'?
Sealed. By court order. By three separate courts in two separate jurisdictions. One of those jurisdictions no longer exists.
Chef P. Vance, Culinary Institute (Expelled)
Post-Incident
I put it on everything. My instructor said I had lost my palate. I said my palate had been liberated. We no longer speak. The Dip was worth it.
Anonymous (They Know Who They Are)
Recurring
I have finished my fourth jar. Each one was different. Each one was correct. I do not understand what is happening to me. I have never been happier. I have also never been more concerned about my happiness.
A Regulator (Off the Record)
During Active Review Process
I cannot officially endorse this product while the review is ongoing. Unofficially, I have been putting it on everything since last Thursday. Two stars officially. You understand the position I am in.
MEGA MEAL Narrative Archive
Story Reference
The Dip appears in the MEGA MEAL saga as a recurring motif: a billboard for 'The Infinite Dip' looms over a city as reality fractures. Children wander the streets exhibiting signs of dependency. The imagery is, per the official record, 'satirical.' The product team has declined to comment.