The Sandwich Thief’s Journey: Fragments and Speculation
“No pickles.” — Attributed to an unknown individual in a fedora and mask, reportedly present at the Bibimbap Saloon during the Miranda System’s final moments
Notice on Source Reliability
The following document contains unverified information gathered from second-hand accounts, hearsay, and fragments of data recovered from the Miranda debris field. None of this information has been independently confirmed. All accounts of the individual referred to as “The Sandwich Thief” are from indirect sources, rumors, and dream-states reported by the Second Breakfast captain, the robot waiter data, after exposure to temporal radiation.
This collection of rumors and fragmented reports describes a mysterious figure who may have been present during the destruction of the Miranda System. Readers should approach this document as speculative at best, a collection of unreliable narratives rather than verified historical fact.
Reported Sightings and Characteristics
Compiled from various unverified sources
Subject: Unknown individual, name unconfirmed
Known Aliases: “The Sandwich Thief”, “The [REDACTED]”, “The Fedora”
Physical Description: Reports consistently describe a figure wearing distinctive attire including a fedora, bandit mask, and striped clothing, occasionally with a hamburger-patterned tie. Multiple accounts mention an unusually deep, raspy voice that sounds deliberately affected or disguised.
Vehicle: Several accounts mention a modified vehicle identified as a “Starbug.” Descriptions vary widely, though most agree it appeared “bigger on the inside” and possessed unusual capabilities. How such a vehicle could survive the destruction of the Miranda system remains unexplained.
Possible Motivations: The most consistent element across accounts is the individual’s apparent interest in the “Perfect Bloody Mary” created by the robot bartender at the moment of the Miranda system’s destruction. Some speculate this interest relates to the temporal anomalies detected in the debris field, though this remains conjecture.
Reported Timeline: The mysterious figure is said to have appeared suddenly at the Bibimbap Saloon moments before the catastrophic events began—timing that many find suspicious, though there is no direct evidence linking this individual to the system’s destruction.
The Miranda Mystery
Various unverified accounts suggest a connection between this mysterious individual and the strange temporal readings detected in the Miranda debris field:
Speculative Timeline
According to dream-state accounts from the Second Breakfast captain, and data from Service Robot RW-71, the individual known as “The Sandwich Thief” may have appeared at the Bibimbap Saloon just before the Miranda system’s destruction. The timing of this appearance has led to speculation that the individual might have had foreknowledge of the impending catastrophe.
Some theories suggest the individual could be associated with a group or entity some call “Singularity Alpha,” though evidence for this connection is entirely circumstantial. These rumors typically assign three motives to the mysterious visitor:
- To obtain a sample of the Perfect Bloody Mary created at the exact moment of the system’s destruction
- To extract certain individuals from the temporal anomaly detected in the debris field
- To investigate or interact with the entity described in some accounts as the “Purple Force”
However, all of these theories are based on fragmented data and dream-state testimony. No direct observation of the individual’s activities or confirmation of their presence has been definitively established.
The Temporal Anomaly Theory
Some scientific speculation focuses on the unusual temporal readings from the Miranda debris field and how they might relate to the reported presence of this mysterious visitor:
Excerpt from Dr. Eliza Wei’s speculative analysis
“If we entertain the possibility that the temporal anomalies detected in the Miranda debris field represent some form of time distortion, it raises intriguing questions about the reported figure known as ‘The Sandwich Thief.’
The radiation patterns suggest a violation of standard thermodynamic principles—energy appearing to organize rather than dissipate—which theoretically could indicate a localized temporal phenomenon. If such a phenomenon existed, it might have created what would appear to those inside it as a recursive time loop centered on the Bibimbap Saloon.
This speculative model would suggest that the mysterious visitor—if they existed—somehow penetrated this temporal anomaly. Unlike others caught in such a theoretical loop, this individual might have retained awareness across iterations, allowing them to perceive and navigate the phenomenon.
I must emphasize that this remains entirely theoretical. The sudden appearance of this figure just before the catastrophe could be coincidental, or the figure might not have existed at all—merely representing a psychological construct created by those experiencing trauma during the system’s destruction.”
The Perfect Mary Obsession
The most consistent element across fragmentary accounts is the mysterious visitor’s apparent fixation on the Perfect Bloody Mary:
The Legendary Drink
Various accounts suggest the visitor was specifically interested in the Perfect Bloody Mary, supposedly completed at the exact moment of the Miranda system’s destruction. How the visitor might have known about this drink in advance remains unexplained.
What is consistent across all accounts is the visitor approached the bar and ordered a “Bloody Mary, no pickles, make it a double” in their distinctive voice. This specific phrase reportedly triggered an 8.7-second anomaly—interestingly, matching precisely the duration of the strange temporal fluctuation detected in the debris field.
Most accounts include the phrase “No pickles.” attributed to this mysterious visitor. The significance of this statement remains unknown, though it appears to relate to the quantum stability of the Perfect Mary mixture.
In the collective dream-states experienced by the crew, the Perfect Mary evolved across numerous iterations of the temporal loop, changing from a simple red drink to something with remarkable properties—glowing, floating, and eventually revealing images within its liquid. Whether these accounts represent actual temporal phenomena or merely the psychological processing of trauma remains debated among researchers.
The Purple Force Connection
Some of the more fantastical elements in the accounts involve an entity referred to as the “Purple Force” and its possible connection to both the mysterious visitor and the Miranda system’s destruction:
From unattributed dream-state reports
“The entity described as the ‘Purple Force’ appears in multiple conflicting accounts. In some, it is described as a threat or monster that attacked people in the Bibimbap Saloon. In others, it’s portrayed as a helper or neutral observer. The most consistent element is its purple coloration and its apparent ability to manifest within the temporal loop.
Several accounts suggest someone in the bar had some knowledge of or connection to this entity. In one particularly vivid dream-state, an individual was reported to say: ‘The [REDACTED] is coming, and when it does…’ The appearance of the Mysterious individual in the fedora and mask coincided with this statement, leading some to speculate that the two might be connected.
The scientific community remains skeptical about these accounts, attributing them to psychological processing of trauma combined with exposure to the unusual radiation in the debris field. However, the consistency of the ‘Purple Force’ across multiple independent accounts has led some researchers to speculate about possible quantum phenomena that might have been perceived as a sentient entity by human observers.”
The Extraction Theory
A controversial theory that has emerged focuses on the possibility that this mysterious visitor somehow extracted individuals from the Miranda system before or during its destruction:
Possible Rescue Mission?
Some dream-state accounts describe the visitor using the Starbug vehicle to extract several individuals from the Bibimbap Saloon at the moment of the system’s destruction. These accounts typically identify three specific people:
- An elderly individual referred to as “Old Man 1” or “Fruzzy” who supposedly retained memories across loop iterations
- Two other elderly individuals known simply as “Old Man 2” and “Old Man 3” with less defined characteristics
How such an extraction could have occurred—or whether it happened at all—remains entirely speculative. No survivors from the Miranda system have been officially documented, and the complete destruction of the system should have made escape impossible.
Some theories suggest the visitor might have used the 8.7-second anomaly as an extraction window, though how this would have allowed escape from a stellar catastrophe is unexplained by conventional physics.
The Cosmic Traffic Jam
Perhaps the most fantastical element in the collection of rumors and dream-states involves what supposedly happened after the extraction from the Bibimbap Saloon:
Interdimensional Gridlock
According to the several sources, the Starbug vehicle—after leaving the Bibimbap Saloon with its extracted individuals—encountered what was described as an “interdimensional traffic jam” in the upper atmosphere of Miranda.
This improbable scenario describes a queue of various unusual vehicles—“space cars, glowing bubbles, even a horse-drawn carriage floating in vacuum”—all apparently engaged in similar extraction missions from the doomed system.
The accounts mention a “traffic controller voice” providing an “estimated wait time for interdimensional transit” and stating that “Everyone on that planet had some kind of effect on the future timeline.”
Most researchers dismiss this element as pure fantasy or symbolic processing of trauma. The simultaneous appearance of multiple extraction vehicles at the moment of the system’s destruction strains credibility even within the context of temporal anomalies. However, it’s worth noting that the Second Breakfast’s long-range sensors did detect unusual communication patterns that might align with this fantastical scenario.
Memory Divergence
An interesting aspect of the dream-state accounts involves the reported disagreements among the supposedly extracted individuals about what actually occurred:
From collected dream-state fragments
“A curious element appears consistently across dream-states: the notion that individuals experienced different versions of the same events. Accounts describe arguments among the extracted individuals, with each insisting their memories of the temporal loop were correct despite contradicting each other.
One would claim they fought a purple monster a specific number of times, while another would insist on a completely different number. One would remember trying to escape through windows, while another would claim they only attempted the doors.
The mysterious visitor is reported to have explained this as ‘memory divergence across loop iterations,’ suggesting that each person experienced different versions of the same temporal loop—all equally real but representing different probability tracks within the same event.
This concept parallels certain theoretical models of quantum observation, where the act of observation can influence quantum states. If a temporal anomaly operated on quantum principles, it might indeed manifest differently to different observers while maintaining core elements—potentially explaining the consistency of certain details across accounts despite major variations in others.”
Scientific Assessment
The scientific community remains skeptical of these accounts, attributing them primarily to psychological processing of trauma combined with exposure to unusual radiation:
Current Consensus
Dr. Eliza Wei, lead researcher studying the Miranda debris field, offers this assessment: “While the dream-states experienced by the Second Breakfast captain contains fascinating consistencies, they most likely represent of psychological processing of the trauma of witnessing a stellar catastrophe combined with exposure to the unusual radiation patterns in the debris field."
"The figure known as ‘The Sandwich Thief’ might represent a psychological construct—a personification of the inexplicable nature of the catastrophe. Similarly, the ‘Purple Force’ could symbolize the awesome and terrifying power of stellar destruction, while the extraction narrative might represent a hopeful fantasy that someone escaped the destruction."
"That said, the unusual temporal readings in the debris field do suggest something extraordinary happened during the system’s destruction. The radiation patterns violate standard thermodynamic principles, and the 8.7-second anomaly detected by multiple instruments remains unexplained. While we should approach these dream-state accounts with appropriate skepticism, we should not dismiss the possibility that they contain elements of truth—perhaps perceived and processed through the lens of human psychology, but reflecting actual physical phenomena that occurred during the system’s final moments.”
Epilogue: Current Status
The mysterious figure known as “The Sandwich Thief” remains unconfirmed—possibly a figment of traumatized imagination, possibly a real individual whose presence at the Miranda catastrophe remains unexplained:
Final assessment note
“No confirmed sightings of the individual described as ‘The Sandwich Thief’ have been recorded. No records exist of individuals matching the descriptions of ‘Old Man 1/Fruzzy,’ ‘Old Man 2,’ or ‘Old Man 3’ among Miranda’s known population.
The radiation patterns in the Miranda debris field continue to defy conventional explanation, with energy organizing rather than dissipating and apparent violations of temporal causality. These anomalies warrant continued study, regardless of whether the accounts of ‘The Sandwich Thief’ represent reality or trauma-induced fantasy.
Captain Helena Zhao of the Second Breakfast has ordered all findings related to these accounts sealed, citing potential dangers of the knowledge contained within. Her final log entry notes: ‘Some knowledge is too dangerous. Some recipes should remain lost.’”
[This document contains unverified accounts and speculation based primarily after exposure to temporal radiation in the Miranda debris field. None of this information should be considered factual without independent verification.]